Current:Home > FinanceNarcissists can't stand these traits. Here's how to become immune to narcissists. -DollarDynamic
Narcissists can't stand these traits. Here's how to become immune to narcissists.
View
Date:2025-04-20 09:29:31
Are some people immune to narcissists?
Just as some people can't help but attract narcissists, mental health experts say there are certain qualities that turn off narcissists too, almost like repellent.
Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and author of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist," says some qualities not only keep narcissists at bay, but also help people heal from narcissistic relationships faster.
"It's almost like a vaccine," she says. "It still messed you up, but you wouldn't get as sick."
Though everyone's vulnerable to narcissists to some degree, mental health experts say anyone can boost their narcissism immune system. Here's how.
Don't give praise or validation easily
Indifference to gloating or bragging is a surefire way to turn off a narcissist, Durvasula says.
This is because narcissists are always on the hunt for attention and validation, something that's known as narcissistic supply; therefore, if a narcissist senses early-on that someone doesn't easily give praise, they're more likely to move on and seek out someone who does.
"If from the beginning you are not giving them a lot of validation − you're not oo-ing and aw-ing and fawning over them − they're probably going to move on to a new target pretty quickly," Durvasula says.
It may sound simple, but Durvasula warns for empathic people, this is often easier said than done.
"If you're genuinely someone who is warm and interested in what other people have to say, it's hard to turn that off," she says.
Narcissists have a type.Are you a narcissist magnet? Here's how to tell.
Make your boundaries clear − and stand by them
Narcissists love a challenge, but if they sense someone's boundaries are too impervious to break down, they'll often back off.
"Narcissists will sometimes feel it's not worth the effort if you're very clear with them about your boundaries," says Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist and author of "Healing from Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Emotional Abuse."
According to Sarkis, few things turn off a narcissist more than the word "no."
"Narcissists will work very hard at turning your no into a yes," she says. "Someone that holds firm to their boundaries and continues to say, 'no' − that person is not someone the narcissist wants to engage with."
Is narcissism genetic?Narcissists are made, not born. How to keep your kid from becoming one.
Know who you're dealing with
If a narcissist senses you aren't wise to their manipulative tricks, they'll be more likely to target you, says Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author of "If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth."
"The first thing you have to do is recognize who you're in the room with," she says. "What you don't know can and will harm you."
Plus, you don't have to be a psychologist or expert to know when something's off either. Durvasula says trusting your gut is one of the best ways to build narcissism immunity.
"Every single person I've ever known who's been in a narcissistic relationship has said, 'I felt funky by the third or fourth date,' " she says. "Listen to your body. It's smarter than your brain."
More:What happens when a narcissist becomes a parent? They force their kids into these roles.
More ways to boost your narcissism immunity
There are other ways to become less attractive to narcissists too. Here's some of them.
- Find meaning outside of romantic relationships: People who have purpose and a strong social support network outside of their romantic relationships recover more easily from narcissistic abuse than people who don't, Durvasula says.
- Work toward a secure attachment style: If you have a more avoidant or anxious approach to relationships, getting more secure in how you connect to others through therapy will make you less vulnerable to narcissists, Sarkis says.
- Recognize manipulation: People with a strong sense of truth and who know when they're being lied to are less likely to be manipulated by narcissists, Cole says.
- See your relationship from a bird's eye view: Looking at your relationship as if you were a third-party observer can help you see patterns more objectively and, as a result, recognize narcissism. "Observing it gives you more power over it," Cole says.
Do narcissists feel heartbroken?It's complicated. What to know about narcissism, breakups.
veryGood! (219)
Related
- Toyota to invest $922 million to build a new paint facility at its Kentucky complex
- Top legal adviser to New York City mayor quits as investigations swell
- 'The Life of Chuck' wins Toronto Film Festival audience award. Is Oscar next?
- Five reasons Dolphins' future looks grim if Tua Tagovailoa leaves picture after concussion
- How to watch new prequel series 'Dexter: Original Sin': Premiere date, cast, streaming
- 2024 Emmys: Joshua Jackson Gives Sweet Shoutout to Beautiful Daughter Juno
- As mortgage rates hit 18-month low, what will the Fed meeting mean for housing?
- Jennifer Aniston's No A--hole Policy Proves She Every Actor's Dream Friend
- How to watch the 'Blue Bloods' Season 14 finale: Final episode premiere date, cast
- Reese Witherspoon Reveals Epic Present Laura Dern Gave Her Son at 2024 Emmys
Ranking
- South Korean president's party divided over defiant martial law speech
- Another World Series hangover. Defending champion Rangers fail to repeat
- How to Talk to Anxious Children About Climate Change
- Why Hacks Star Hannah Einbinder's Mom Slammed The Bear After 2024 Emmy Wins
- Who are the most valuable sports franchises? Forbes releases new list of top 50 teams
- Jon Bon Jovi helped save a woman from a bridge. Its namesake did the same 70 years ago.
- Profiles in clean energy: She founded a business to keep EV charging stations up and running
- 2024 Emmys: Lamorne Morris Puts This New Girl Star on Blast for Not Wanting a Reboot
Recommendation
Intellectuals vs. The Internet
DJT shares pop after Donald Trump says 'I am not selling' Trump Media stake
Arizona man accused of online terror threats has been arrested in Montana
Top legal adviser to New York City mayor quits as investigations swell
At site of suspected mass killings, Syrians recall horrors, hope for answers
911 calls from Georgia school shooting released
Police: 4 killed after multi-vehicle crash in southeast Dallas
Privacy audit: Check permissions, lock your phone and keep snoops out